All I've done is be a loyal customer Cingular and then you. I've actually DEFENDED you to people who ragged on your coverage (honestly your coverage isn't that great at my house but I'm willing to live with that). I was pretty happy when the iPhone came out and it was on your service because it meant I didn't have to switch. Now though, you can suck it.
Honest to pete. I hope you die like the dinsaurs. I have been paying bills to freaking idiots for over 12 years. TWELVE YEARS YOU DOLTS. Did you think I didn't have another service I could switch to? Of course I could you dolts but now when the iPhone 3GS comes out, you treat me like I've only been a customer for like a year. So instead of selling me the iPhone 3GS (32GB BTW) for $299 - you want to bang me like a rented goalie for $499!! And the galling part is the condescending douchebag language you use when you propose this royal screwing:
Ooh really? Be still my beating heart. You know what's really awesome? The $18 addtl. screwing. Did you guys laugh when you thought that one up? Lovely. Corporate douchebags. Money-grubbing ass monkeys. Hard-headed, non-customer understanding, grab every dollar while you can pig bangers. (sorry pigs). So my reward for being a loyal customer for over a decade is to only get SCREWED for $200 extra over some new schmuck who could walk in and sign up today?! Is that how you read it?
Well guess what ass-hats? Guess how much of my money you're getting? Zero. Zip. Nada. Nil. Nothing. Gonna spend that money on something else. So instead of you making $200 more off me, you make nothing. How's that for some fancy math you knuckle-dragging shitheads? Oh, let me tell you what else doesn't bother me one freakin' bit - don't write in and start telling me about subsidizing hardware costs or anything like it - you know how much I care? That's right - NOT AT FREAKIN' ALL. Guess who picked your business/revenue model? That's right - your dumbass, 20th century thinking cavemen of an executive corps. So I really don't care how much you subsidize a phone for - guess what it looks like to me? It looks to me like someone who has never ben a customer to AT&T can get a better deal than me. Why don't you just include a note in my next bill that says "thx for all your business Mark, suck it."
I hope you go the way of Sprint even the way of the 'real' AT&T. Or AOL. Or the Rocky Mountain News. I hope you get the feeling that you're a dinosaur and you're looking up into the sky one night and you see this big meteor streaking down and you're all like "I wonder if that meteor will change my life?" Yeah, I hope it does. Hey! AT&T marketing/PR hacks - did you hear the audience when they mentioned AT&T from the stage at WWDC 2009? Groans, moans and boos. Awesome job fellas. No really. In light of that, way to treat loyal customers. I CANNOT WAIT until Apple dumps you or opens the iPhone up to other carriers like Verizon. Guess what will happen then you turd-munching idiots? I'll be gone. Then you won't just be out my $200 but every other payment for the rest of my life. Rest assured too that I'll spend part of the rest of my life telling everybody about how bad you suck.
Have a nice day douchebags.